The Art of Conversation
Making new friends later in life isn’t always easy. Maybe your old social circles have shifted—or you're simply out of practice when it comes to striking up new connections.
But here's the good news—conversation is a skill you can refresh at any age. These gentle, science-backed conversation tips can help make chatting with new people feel less intimidating, more natural, and even enjoyable.
And it doesn’t take much to start:
Preparation helps. Think of a few topics ahead of time—favorite books, local clubs, family stories.
Curiosity connects. Show genuine interest in others—ask, listen, and encourage them to share.
Share your warmth. Offer small personal stories, and notice when they spark interest—it opens the door to deeper talk.
Small efforts, big impact. Even short, kind conversations can combat loneliness and build bonds over time.
In her summary “End Awkward Small Talk Using These 5 Conversation Hacks,” Alison Wood Brooks outlines a simple framework for smoother conversations. Inspired by her acronym TALK—Topics, Asking, Levity, and Kindness—these strategies offer guidance for making meaningful connections.
1. See Conversation as a Coordination Game
Every conversation is like a gentle dance. You and the other person are constantly navigating what to say next, when to switch gears, or how to wrap things up. Knowing that both of you are steering takes the pressure off—it’s not about performing, it’s about partnering.
2. Build with Topics—Start Light, Go Deeper
Start small: “Have you seen that new show?” “How’s your garden doing?”
Then build: Share your own thoughts and invite theirs in return.
Then connect: When the moment feels right, go a little deeper—favorite memories, personal joys, or shared experiences.
3. Ask Thoughtful, Open Questions
Ask things that invite a full answer: “What brought you joy this week?”
Listen more than you speak. People remember when they feel truly heard.
Avoid turning the spotlight too quickly on yourself—stay curious just a little longer.
4. Don’t Be Afraid of Levity
A little humor—nothing forced—can work wonders. A lighthearted observation or a shared chuckle over something small can instantly put both people at ease. You don’t have to be a comedian—just be open to a little joy in the moment.
5. Always Lead with Kindness
This may be the simplest, yet most powerful tip: be kind. In tone, in questions, in your responses. When people feel safe and cared for, conversations flow more easily. A warm smile, a gentle tone, or even just patience can create space for connection.
✨ Gentle Advice to Start Practicing
Before an event or outing, think of two or three easy topics to ask about.
If conversation lulls, notice something around you—a scarf, a book, a smile—and ask about it.
Leave space in your replies. Pauses create room for the conversation to bloom.
And most of all—just begin. The best conversations often start with a simple, sincere “Hello.”
You don’t need dazzling stories or perfect timing—just warmth, curiosity, and a willingness to connect. These small shifts, as Alison Wood Brooks suggests, can turn awkward small talk into something meaningful. And that’s something worth talking about.